This Saturday, the Utah Democratic Party will hold its state convention in Ogden — but anyone planning to show up with hay bales, water pistols, or a megaphone might want to read the fine print. The party's official rules read like a cross between a kindergarten classroom bulletin and a TSA checkpoint, with bans on everything from sling shots and glitter to "boisterous conduct" and "hard balls."

Among the prohibited items are not only real weapons including guns and knives, but also toy guns, bean shooters, and sling shots. Delegates are also warned not to bring sports equipment, vapes, chewing tobacco, or adhesive-backed decals. And for reasons not entirely clear, alfalfa is also specifically called out in a long list of prohibitions.

While the intention behind the rules is presumably safety and decorum, the convention rules reads more like prep for an elementary school field trip than a political convention. One observer noted the only thing missing was a timeout corner and a ban on running with scissors. With such a long laundry list of prohibitions, Saturday’s convention could end up being the most well-behaved — and least memorable — gathering of Democrats in Utah history.

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